it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
