there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
