I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
