is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
