god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize