Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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