there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
