How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize