There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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