Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
