fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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