If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
