Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
