the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
