There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
