Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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