Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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