I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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