no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
