You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
