either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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