i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just found puke in my bra..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize