I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
