Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
