I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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