I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
