I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
