every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
