I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
