I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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