I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
