doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
