is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
