Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
