She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
