I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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