I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
