At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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