mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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