Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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