I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
