My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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