Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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