smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
