You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
