So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
