i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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