That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
