"it" just moved
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
