Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
