I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
