We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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