If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
