MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
