why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
