i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
