Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
