You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize