just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
