that's an acceptable place to lick
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize