So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
