O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize